For those of you planning a date with a Japanese woman, a little cultural awareness can be the difference between a one-time meeting and a successful relationship. While modern dating apps have modernized how people meet, the underlying values of respect and preparation remain deeply important.
Here are five key things that Japanese women often find unattractive, note down if you need it.
Being Late
Never be late for an appointment! Being even 5 minutes late can signal that you do not value her time. In 2026, where schedules are tight and precision is prized, arriving “on time” actually means arriving 5 minutes early. Unlike more casual dating cultures, some Japanese women may actually head home if you are significantly late without a very good reason. If an emergency happens, send a message immediately with your new ETA.
Lack of “Manliness” (Memeshi)
The term Memeshi (女々しい) refers to men who are perceived as overly feminine or lacking in protective instincts. While Japan is a modern society, traditional “gentlemanly” gestures are highly appreciated. So, on a date try to use simple acts like walking on the street side of the sidewalk, holding the door, or offering your umbrella during a sudden summer shower show that you are attentive and reliable.
Being wishy-washy
Don’t be wishy-washy when dating Japanese women, because Japanese women like men who guide and don’t hesitate when making decisions. Japanese women don’t like men who always answer all questions with the word “whatever” or “anything is fine.” It takes effort to win a Japanese women’s heart by planning a perfect date: be sure about the area you want to visit, restaurants for lunch and dinner, and things to do during your time together. Japanese women seem to love a well-planned day!
Arrogance and Rudeness
This one is quite common globally, and Japanese women are no different. Japanese women don’t like arrogant men. Although Japanese women prefer men to be manly, they do not like men who are rude and do not care about their feelings. Jealously is also not something women like in men here!
Comparing with other women
This is a universal rule, but it bears repeating in a Japanese context. Never bring up ex-girlfriends or compare your date to other women (or even your mother). It suggests you aren’t fully present. For modern time another thing that you should be careful is your phone notifications. Seeing messages from other women pop up during a date can immediately label you as a “playboy” (uwaki-mono).
A successful Date?
A successful date with a Japanese woman is built on thoughtfulness, punctuality, and respect. By taking the lead in planning and showing subtle protective instincts, you demonstrate that you are a reliable partner worth getting to know.
